Cade The Warrior

On Tuesday we took our hairy little man back into the clinic and saw another set of clean scans. We are celebrating this week, and again our hearts are collectively moving along. Cade is playing soccer, excelling in school, and putting on all the weight he lost. We are seven months removed from a chemo treatment, and it is wonderful. Our hearts are full, full, full. It has been so precious to have a curtain pulled back in place over our family life. Thank you for everyone who tuned in each week to pray with us and let our story weave itself into yours. It is humbling to know how many people sat with us and tracked with us. But I have loved returning to normal life, and not having anything update-worthy. I felt today that maybe it would be helpful to uncover just a little of what these months have meant for us. It is interesting how many people tune in for the tension, and how interested we all feel in the moments of trauma and hurt. But I've never heard of people publicizing th...

Today marks one year since this journey began. I read this morning in Joshua 21 a beautiful verse that fit perfectly as our family collectively remembers all that has happened.  “Not one word of the good promises God had made to the house of Israel (or house of Freije) had failed, all came to pass.”  We as a family are very much alive and fully aware that what capped not only our bodies but our hearts alive this year was the great promises of God. There is no substitution for his presence and nothing sustains like his love. I am truly overwhelmed by his kindness and his sustenance in the middle of everything. I got to give our story for the first time in completion to our church on Sunday, and I’ve linked it  Here . Cade is loving school- and although the first few weeks he would get home and ask me how many more days he had to go sit at school, he now has found friends in almost all of his classmates and when I watch him walk in he is inevitably te...

We are so thrilled to share with y'all the good news from this week's scans. We explain at length in the video we made, and share some other cool stories. The bottom line is that Cade's four new lung nodules we saw on the scans in August were completely gone- and based on some new findings our oncologist feels confident it is the result of an infection and not the disease. We are not doing surgery, we are done with chemo, and CADE IS GOING TO SCHOOL! We will re-scan in three months to check on the scar tissue to make sure it is not growing, and to monitor him. We are so thankful to have this break, and we are hoping you fully celebrate with us. Our minds are still pretty blown- we had an emotional whiplash of a week last week, and I am personally still very much processing and absorbing what all of this means. In essence, I feel like I am emerging from hiding with my family, and it is amazing how many new decisions need to be made. But this is what relationship with J...

This week is scan week, and I know people must be praying because the peace we both feel is ridiculous. Cade has enjoyed a week of being so normal- running, playing, sweating, soccer, playgrounds. All of the things I once took for granted feel like a privilege and a gift. Thursday morning we will go in for a chest CT scan and a meeting with our oncologist. If the spots remain, we will have surgery in the next two weeks to remove them and get pathology. Everything hinges on the results of the pathology, and we are praying that every single cell is dead. We got to spend time with friends on Sunday night celebrating how faithful God has been through this process. It was so encouraging, and so good for me to stop and look back and realize all that God has done. It reminds me of the story where Jesus healed 10 leperous men and only one returned to thank him. I want to be that one. I want to always be willing to recognize when miracles have happened. Some days it feels like life can be...

After a very brief hospital stay (3 days and 4 nights), we are back at home. And we are still very much processing the fact that WE HAVE FINISHED THIS CHEMO PROTOCOL. We explain it more in the video but basically Cade's kidney health is important, and chemo plus the antibiotic we are giving him for the bacteria that showed up on cultures last week is a bad combination. Our oncologist suggested being done with chemo, and moving forward with scans next week. It is stunning to me how graciously God has carried us so far. When we first heard about how long chemo would be, we were pretty much paralyzed. I couldn't even look at the sheet with the dates listed. Literally. Chad was the one who kept on top of it and would tell me what was ahead, but I basically had to live week to week. I am so thankful Chad and I are gifted differently, or else we both would have been clueless. But chunk by chunk, week by week, day by day, we made it through. And so many of you have been there with...

Cade and I showed up early Monday morning for chemo, food stash in hand with lots of books to read only to find out a few hours later that Cade had a big spike in temperature, and after getting some cultures to make sure there is no infection, we got to leave early and chemo-free. We will go in again this Thursday and Friday to get these infusions again. Here are some specific things to pray for with this chemo group on Thursday: 1. Please pray protection over his kidney, heart, and bladder. He had an ECHO Friday to check heart funcion as on of these chemos can cause heart damage. Please pray Cade is protected! Please also pray against bleeding in the bladder lining and any stress to his remaining kidney as the other chemo in this group is hard on those areas. 2. Please pray against any nausea and especially delayed nausea as that has been the culprit in the past for Cade. Please pray he has ZERO vomiting! 3. Please pray against mouth sores so that Cade can comfortably eat and d...

We have been loving life outside of the hospital, and as we suspected last week, Cade didn't quite make counts for the chemo that was scheduled this Monday so we are enjoying a week of normal life. And it's been remarkably normal.  Since we've been home, we moved Cade's bed into Eden and Haven's room, and so now three of our four sleep in one space. We stagger the exact bed times most nights to reduce bed time angst, but mornings are a general favorite around here and include lots of noise, jumping off beds, reading to each other, etc. I love it so much.  Cade also went to the gym and the park with me for the first time since diagnosis. That's amazing. He even ate out at a restaurant, which we've only done two other times. All these very normal things feel very abnormal and special, which is a part of the gift of this season I'm sure.  We are still fervently praying that: 1. Cade's body and immunities kick into high gear and comple...

(Chad brought this medal for Cade he won in go-cart racing, and Cade wore it every. single. day. whil we were in inpatient.) (This basketball hoop was installed the hour before we drove Cade home and he is basically the next Michael Jordan.) (This is Cade and Bunny happily sleeping last night in their own big bed.) (And this is a typical glimpse of the kind of "guys' nights Chad and Cade have in the hospital complete with popcorn, football, and no pants...for Cade at least). We are happy to say that everyone is asleep in their own beds, out of the hospital. We wrapped up our final 5 day in this protocol, and finished out the final expected hospital stay. It was our shortest stay yet, and at it also felt the most routine out of all of them. After this long, we seem to have established a great system, including the most amazing grandparents around us. Chad and I have incredible parents, who willingly do things like spend hours with Cade at the hospital help...

We wrapped up Cade's last five day Friday, and he got to play with his sisters all weekend and do lots of normal things. Monday morning hit, and so did the wave of chemo. He spent most of the day sleeping and getting sick, but still was his very pleasant precious little self. We are praying that he will be able to get transfusions this week outpatient so we can avoid an inpatient stay, but we clearly want whatever is best and safest for Cade.  Please pray that these chemos effectively knock out any remaining cancer cell and memory of the cells in his lungs, and that his little body obeys God's voice and command for LIGHT in his inmost being.  Please pray for our family to continue to trust God, and not give our minds permission to think or worry about things over which we have no control. I read a quote yesterday by Billy Graham I thought was worth sharing: "This should be the motto of every follower of Jesus Christ. No matter how dark and hopeless a situation ...

Cade finished his first day today of his last 5 day chemo in this protocol. My mom is here taking care of the girls in the morning, and like everyone else we are back in the swing of the school year. Eden told me today was "real school", as opposed to last week's fake school. Our scans last Monday led us into a very tumultuous week of waiting, but looking back I am extremely thankful for the delay. It meant when we did get the phone call, Eden was back in school, and our hearts were prepared. We explain in the video in more detail, but the bottom line is that they saw four new small nodules in Cade's lungs that they assume are tumor. There will be no certainty until they can surgically removed and put under a microscope. We are praying that by the end of the next six weeks, these nodules have completely disappeared. And if they haven't, that upon resection they show only dead cells.  On Wednesday, our oncologist meets with the solid tumor team and will pre...

Week 30 is upon us, and scans were yesterday. Cade was relaxed during the actual scans, but that was only after he had gave the technician a real show when she was trying to put an IV in his arm. We haven't heard results yet but we do anticipate news today sometime. The waiting is never my best moment. As Chad and I both said in the video, we vacillate between different extremes all throughout the day. This morning we spent a minute processing that together. It is really precious to work out this stuff alongside my best friend. He is a great man, and thinks very differently than I do so it is helpful in circumstances like this to compare notes. I can write a post like last week, asking for my stuff back with the Lord, totally confident He loves me and He's a good Father and wants his kids to be repaid for all of their trouble, and simultaneously I can also realize there are many who never get their stuff back on this side of life. They die without ever seeing the recompense...

We rolled into tonight's video exhausted in the best way. Eden turned 8 today and we had a party for her complete with Cade in the water, swimming like a little bald fish. I think we've been in the midst of a miracle for about a week now, and while at first I was wary of trusting it, I can now confidently say Cade's response to this past week was amazing. He did NOT get sick, he did not get sores, and he has been able to enjoy life, despite a big treatment. We mention this in the video, but I am firmly convinced that the prayers of many many people made this week what it was. A few days ago Chad and I were talking about how we can't wait for Heaven, to see the film of all of this in the spiritual realm. Like, what is actually happening when we pray and fast? What are we actually doing? What angels are released, what doors are opened and which ones are shut, how many things are set in motion simply because we pray and God responds? It's not a formula, but there is ...

Last week was AMAZING. By the generosity of some friends, we spent a few days near Bloomington at a lake where we boated, played, and all three littles shared the same bunk room and LOVED it. It is hard to express how much that trip meant to us. To me. It felt like a direct gift from the goodness of the Father, played out in the lives of people around us whose generosity and compassion are remarkable. We are so thankful. I feel like I keep saying the same three things: God has been way kinder than I ever guessed, we are so thankful, and we are expectant. I guess its because those things are always very true. I spent last year obsessing over how old 30 was, and a million other stupid, vapid thoughts probably crossed my mind during that birthday. This week I turned 31, and I keep finding myself looking back at this year seeing the wisdom of God. At the very beginning of this journey I felt like I had a visual of God taking back the chessboard of our lives, and studying it with...

Making it through last week in itself is a big big relief. Cade wasn’t eating, and was unable to stop vomiting until mid-Wednesday. In striking contrast, he now can’t stop eating and is jumping around like a wild man. We are on VACATION! WHAT A GIFT! We are staying at a beautiful lake house, and are so thankful for the reprieve and change of location. Next Monday we begin one of the three last major treatments in Cade’s protocol. Thank you all for tracking with us for so long. Please pray Cade’s body is prepared for Monday, and his echo this Friday shows a strong and healthy heart that is ready to receive whatever chemo his body will get. And please pray that he has strength to endure and the blessing of peace over his stomach, his GI tract, and his whole body. These chemos cause a number of side effects, but we are still fervently praying Cade “skates on through”. Thank you for praying with us!

We conquered week 25 and yesterday we had a quick chemo for week 26, but the effects are still lingering for Cade. We are thankful for new mercies every morning! Between the time we made our weekly update video and this morning, Cade has had a return of vomiting and sick stomach. We are praying for breakthrough for him, and for his ability to eat and have a calm stomach. He hasn't eaten since Saturday and he needs strength, please pray with us for a return of his appetite and for a stomach that can handle food. We are thankful for all of the people praying with us, for our team of medical staff, and for family nearby who has helped out so much. This thing takes an entire village, and I am incredibly thankful for ours. Hearing people I've never met talk about praying for my son daily is so humbling, and incredibly encouraging on days like today. Thank you so much. Here are some of the prayer points we have for this week and next: 1. Please pray for immediate relief for C...

The past two weeks have honestly felt like vacation. We got to almost go through re-entry to life. We hung out with friends, hosted a few meals, swam, saw fireworks, did a bunch of things that we hadn't been able to do since last November. It's amazing how much of normal life we took for granted before. We felt so thankful for every single day. Cade has been doing great and has been playing and running around- I went back and looked at a list of prayer requests on my phone I had made at the start of this last 18 weeks and chief among them was that Cade would be a little boy again. That has certainly been the case. He has been back at waking up the earliest, staying up the latest, sneaking food, using our house as his own personal obstacle course. Thank you for praying that with us! We started Cade's 5 day yesterday- its not an intensive one, and only the second time we have recieved this chemo. One of the only side effect is pretty serious diarrhea, so we are praying th...

We are so thankful to be in the middle of 2 weeks of normal family life. This week is a surprise week off, since Cade didn't make counts on Friday to do the five day chemo he was scheduled to do this week. With that delay also comes some more dose reductions for the next large chemo group. It is amazing how much we appreciate our oncologist. She is thoughtful and careful, and I love her approach to treatment. We hope today is a day full of breakthrough for all of us, even if the breakthrough is just clear eyes and lungs to see and breathe in all God is doing around us. I love the rhythm of fasting because it helps me stay awake to my need. The physical signs of hunger are so loud, I only wish my body was equally as vocal about hungering for God. May we all develop spirits that are aware of our hunger. Here is the video devo for this week, and also some prayer points for the next week: 1. Please pray that Cade's body receives the EXACT amount of chemo he needs and not one ...

Our hearts are very full today because life is back to normal. Cade is off treatment this week and home from the hospital after a 10 day stay. My parents were here for all but one day of the stay, and we (in some ways) feel like it flew by. I found it really encouraging how familiar everything felt during out stay, including the nurses and staff at the hospital. We feel so known there, and we genuinely like so many of the faces we routinely see. Cade at one point in the hospital had several things going on (pneumonia, swimmer's ear, RSV) but he really left totally normal. He was bouncing off the walls and being a crazy man. Having him back in his own bed and living life without his "tubey" in (as Haven points out every day) is doubly refreshing. We are now back to separating screaming children fighting over toys and demanding ice cream after dinner. It's normal chaos and I love it. Thank you for praying for our family and for Cade. We go in Friday for another coun...

It is official: if Chad doesn't make the video, no one is there to cut me off and I ramble. Thank you for letting me take up 13 minutes of your life. We are inpatient right now with Cade after he started a fever last Thursday. He has tested positive for three viruses, including RSV, and has a slight case of pneumonia and a pretty painful swimmer's ear infection. Wow! But overall, he is doing good. His lungs are clearing, when his ear isn't hurting he is feeling energetic and full of life. We are thankful it is nothing more serious. We would love for you to continue to pray with us for: 1. Cade's quick and full recovery from ALL the viruses in his system, the ear infection, and the pneumonia. We want his whole body healthy and ready to come home. 2. Cade's white blood cell count to come up at the right time so he can come home and enjoy summertime! 3. Cade's spirits to stay encouraged, his heart to stay strong, and his whole body to be ready for all the...

It's another fasting Tuesday around our house and we are excited to have you with us! Cade wrapped up his second to last 5 day intensive chemo this past Friday. It is THRILLING to know that we only have one more on the protocol to finish. Of the 13 weeks we have left, only 3 are chemo groups that lower his counts. The rest are either off or smaller chemo groups with less side effects. That is good news! We had a great weekend, filled with lots of normal family activities and a trip to the zoo in the rain. Cade was doing better than we had ever seen him do, until Sunday night when he began to get sick. We aren't sure what's causing it, but we certainly are praying that today he stops getting sick, and is able to keep ALL of his food down and eat normally. Usually after these 5 day treatments we have historically been admitted for a fever by Thursday of this week. We are hopeful that with this dose reduction he either will not be admitted, or will not have a long stay. Hi...