Week Eleven: Be Courageous

"I leave the gift of peace with you- My peace. Not the kind of fragile peace given by the world, but my perfect peace. Don't yield to fear or be troubled in your hearts- instead be courageous!"

 John 14:27

The further we get away from November, the more aware I am that we are living in a miracle. Normally, when I remember sad or hard things, looking back incites a weird sort of post-traumatic anxiety, like a big pit in my stomach or a sick feeling. But with every day that passes, I feel like I am better able to see the weeks when this first started happening with an overwhelming sense of wonder. God is so good. Cade was so covered and cared for, and we have been insulated by kindness and love. 

There are so many precious memories packed into the week we spent in the hospital, the first 24 hours, the weeks that followed. My awareness of the joy of life has been so heightened. I am so thankful for where we are, and I am so thankful for the convincing evidence that God was with us in the darkest hour of our hearts. And somehow, the memory of His presence is invading all the hard moments- making them glow with His light. 

I've been sticking in Isaiah 42 this week, loving this passage: 

"I will bring the blind by a way they did not know; I will lead them in paths they have not known. I will make darkness light before them, and crooked places straight. These things I WILL DO for them, and not forsake them." 

I am still eagerly asking that anything stolen or taken from our family or Cade is repaid DOUBLE, but I also am happy to report from our vantage point, we are already being paid back for it. It started almost immediately and has continued. We have been swimming in blessings. I am so humbled that the majority of blessings are tangible things that come from people around us, like you. We are overwhelmed by how many people have become Jesus to us. They have extended support, kindness, gifts, prayer, hope, faith.  I am SO thankful for all of the people who have generously sent cards, support, gifts. We are winning in life because the people on our right and left have stepped in- it is not us and our victory with God alone, it is us and the people around us fighting with us in so many practical ways. 

The buzz word "solidarity" in our culture today has been resonating in me lately. I feel like it perfectly describes the experience we've had recently in relationship to others. I am so thankful God lets us all feel on behalf of other people. The shared experience of life and grief and pain allows us to feel for other people, and become the practical help people need. I am so thankful so many of you have felt this with us, have been moved by Cade's story, have reached out and been motivated to do whatever it is on your heart. It has taught me so much about relating to people in hard things, how to press in and not be a coward like I normally want to be. THANK YOU. And thank You, Lord, for being so wise in how you designed the human heart. I am so grateful for compassion, empathy, and for solidarity. 

This week marks our 11th week, and the last group of chemos we have not yet experienced. Y'all want to know something AMAZING? When we laid our the chemo schedule, my heart was most discouraged by the 5 inpatient stays we had that would be 5 days each. I was dreading the time away from each other, and even though some patients have weeks and even months of inpatient, I just had such a hard time processing 20 plus days with Cade and one of us in the hospital. I'm still not sure how it even happened, but we are now able to do these treatments OUTPATIENT. Which means we spend the better portion of each day at clinic, but we get to come home at night. WHAT IN THE WORLD. It feels like God is truly making every rough place smooth, just like we had prayed. Thank you for praying that with us. I am still amazed by this reality. 

Cade will receive two chemos every day for five days this week, and we are asking for specific prayer for him every day from 9:30 ET to 12:30 ET. 

Our church is doing a 3 day fast Wednesday-Friday this week to pray for Cade, if you'd like to be part of that, email me at crfreije@gmail.com. We have some videos for each day with specific prayer tools, because my church family is mind-blowingly awesome like that and is carrying us SO well. 

In addition to the chemotherapy prayer points listed here, below are some specifics:

1. Please pray that Cade experiences FULLNESS of health and life this week. 

"In your presence is FULLNESS of joy, at Your right hand are pleasures FOREVER." 

Psalm 16:11

2. Pray that his counts are up to get this chemo, and that his body responds perfectly to each of these new chemos. Just as it should, and not at all how it shouldn't. 

"My heart and soul explode with joy- full of glory! Even my body will rest secure and confident!" Psalm 16:9 (Passion Translation)

3. Please pray for Cade's lung tumors to be dissvoled ENTIRELY. I read this verse in Isaiah 42 and just LOVED the idea that God is the one who gives breath to the people on the earth- Cade's lungs need the full breath of God, pushing each cancerous cell out. And Cade is alive not because of anything else than God wants him to be, and is breathing life into him. OH MY GOODNESS. The breath of God is amazing. I am reminded of John 20:22, where Jesus "breathed on them and said 'Receive the Holy Spirit.'" And in Psalm 33:6 it says the starry host was made by the breath of His mouth. His breath is POWERFUL. 

"Thus says God, the Lord,

    who created the heavens and stretched them out,

    who spread out the earth and what comes from it,

who gives breath to the people on it

    and spirit to those who walk in it" Isaiah 42:5

4. Please pray that God would direct the chemo where it needs to go, and that God moves in Cade's body to sustain him and energize him so that he will be a sign and a wonder because of how he is THRIVING.  I am more and more convinced that God Himself is fighting this for Cade. I do not feel alone, victimized, or short-changed. God is warring on Cade's behalf. I have been loving this verse in Isaiah 42, just amazed at the warrior portion of God's character: 

The Lord goes out like a mighty man,

    like a man of war he stirs up his zeal;

he cries out, he shouts aloud,

    he shows himself mighty against his foes.

Isaiah 42:13

5. Please pray for the continual peace of God to rest on our home, on Cade's body, and in our hearts. As we near scans, we want to have hearts that are not anxious. 

On February 1st, I was spending time with God and asked what He had to say about this next month, and I heard John 14. The very first verse pierced my heart: 

"Don't worry or surrender to your fear. For you've believed in God, now trust and believe in Me also."

I loved that the footnote in my Bible said the Aramaic translation for this phrase was "Let not your heart flutter." It will always feel easier to surrender to fear, and let my heart flutter. But it is never good. I am asking for our family to have the boldness and stamina to not surrender to fear as we wait on a date for scans and the subsequent results. We want to faith in God, and peace in Him that we know is available. 

And on the songs and podcast notes that have been speaking to us: 

I got to share at our church this past weekend, just a little bit of what we've been learning and how we want to see life. If you are interested, its linked here. 

And this Housefires album was playing in my car this week, and I felt so refreshed by it: 

The Way (New Horizon) 

We've also been watching lots of Upper Room worship sets, like this one with my favorite current jam below: 

Upper Room This is How I fight my Battles