Week Eight (Repeat) : Joy is in the Journey

We were surprised with an awesome family weekend when last Thursday we got to clinic and learned Cade's white blood cell count was too low to administer the chemo group he was scheduled for. It ended up being a big fat gift, in the form of a great weekend and Cade acting completely normal. The docs think he might have been fighting something off, but it sure wasn't manifesting and still hasn't. I am filled with absolute confidence that our Master Oncologist gave us another weekend at home, and He is also supernaturally gearing our little buddy to have the right infusions at just the right times. 

Please pray that Cade continues to thrive, and that when we go in Tuesday (tomorrow) for the chemo group again, his counts are up and he can get them...if its the right time. We want to do whatever is best for him, but staying close to schedule would be good so we can knock this stuff out.

We go in tomorrow for the actual week eight, (I was a week early last week, according to Chad, so maybe I'm more prophetic than I thought!). The group of chemos he gets tomorrow are big, and I am asking alot of the same things I listed last week in addition to the prayer points listed here:

1. Please pray that Cade would be strengthened by the Lord, and would not be nauseous, uncomfortable, or in pain. 

Psalms 18:1 says, "I love you, O Lord my strength."

2. Please pray that not one cancer cell stands against the chemo: 

"Not one of ALL their enemies had withstood them, for the Lord had given ALL their enemies into their hands. Not ONE WORD OF ALL THE GOOD PROMISES that the Lord made to the house of Israel (Cade) had failed; all came to pass." Joshua 21:44-45

3. Pray that Cade's thriving in the middle of an intense chemo week would fill people would wonder. Including us. In my quiet time this morning I was reading this story in Acts 3 where people are filled with WONDER and AMAZEMENT (that word amazement means "casting down a thing from its proper place, throwing a mind out of its normal state to wholly fix on things divine"- I mean, COME ON!) at the perfect health that results from faith in the name of Jesus-- ITS THE SAME JESUS AT WORK IN CADE: 

Acts 3

Now Peter and John were going up to the temple...And a man lame from birth was being carried, whom they laid daily at the gate of the temple that is called the Beautiful Gate to ask alms of those entering the temple. 

Seeing Peter and John about to go into the temple, he asked to receive alms.  And Peter directed his gaze at him, as did John, and said, “Look at us.” 

And he fixed his attention on them, expecting to receive something from them. 

But Peter said, 

“I have no silver and gold, but what I do have I give to you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk!” 

And he took him by the right hand and raised him up, and immediately his feet and ankles were made strong. 

And leaping up, he stood and began to walk, and entered the temple with them, walking and leaping and praising God.  

And all the people saw him walking and praising God, 

and recognized him as the one who sat at the Beautiful Gate of the temple, asking for alms. And they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him.

While he clung to Peter and John, all the people, utterly astounded, ran together to them in the portico called Solomon's. And when Peter saw it he addressed the people: 

“Men of Israel, why do you wonder at this, or why do you stare at us, as though by our own power or piety we have made him walk? The God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, the God of our fathers, glorified his servant Jesus, whom you delivered over and denied in the presence of Pilate, when he had decided to release him. But you denied the Holy and Righteous One, and asked for a murderer to be granted to you, and you killed the Author of life, whom God raised from the dead. To this we are witnesses. And his name—by faith in his name—has made this man strong whom you see and know, and the faith that is through Jesus has given the man this perfect health in the presence of you all.

I am so encouraged by how readily the Lord encourages us. It just blows my mind. Every single day. New encouragements. And yes, I might eventually post the ENTIRE Bible on this blog by the end. That's okay with me, I am getting more and more certain there's not one wasted verse in it. All of it is legal and worth getting hyped over. 

Y'all want to hear something that made my weekend? While we were in the hospital the week after surgery, one of my lowest nights was redeemed when one of the two operating surgeons in Cade's surgery came to visit us. I had met her briefly in the ER, and right before surgery but hadn't spent any significant time with her since. She came to visit us late one night and she shared with us how earnestly the surgeon we had initially talked to wanted to take our case, and how after we had prayed with him in the ER, he knew we were his family. He asked her to stay the next day and do it with him, and she agreed. 

Anyway, she is basically the most affable and likable person, and we hit it off that night. Turns out she loves Jesus and feels empowered to do her work at Riley with God. 

A few weeks ago I found her on Instagram (because I'm creepy like that) and friend requested her. I had NO idea if it was crossing patient/doc boundaries, but I just knew if life were normal, we'd have been friends. And early last week she messaged me, and ended up this weekend coming to church with me. 

She was basically hailed as a hero at church, and I was so grateful to be able to introduce all of the friends who were fervently praying for Cade while he was in surgery to the woman who literally embodied their answered prayers. She shared more details about the operating room and the atmosphere there when they saw Cade's abdomen and realized they could actually remove the entire tumor instead of just biopsying it. 

For me, it was a much needed reminder of what God already has performed for us. All through this process, the Father has been piecing this story together, and I'm certain He is weaving kindness ALL through it. Here I got to sit in church next to the woman who spent hours pouring over my son's body, hearing how she prayed with the surgeon before and how they celebrated it afterward, hearing how they miraculously got a few hours' sleep the night before after seeing us in the ER, and felt refreshed to perform the surgery the next afternoon. I got to hug her and pray for her and tell her that she IS a hero. I owe her so much. As much as we are praying for supernatural healing, the natural healing at the hands of doctors IS supernatural! If you're a doctor or married to anyone medical or thinking about going into medicine, I celebrate you today. Thank you, for being the hands and feet of Jesus. 

Meanwhile, as a family, we are enjoying life to the fullest. Which also means Chad and I spend most days in a cycle of getting discouraged by thoughts and fears, running to prayer, remembering what God's done, and what He has said about us and about Cade, and living victoriously for a few hours until the next cycle occurs. It's so much like normal life it's not even funny- just normal life battle on steroids. By the end of some days, I feel exhausted by the mental battle like I've been treading water all day in my mind. 

On the day we first started chemo, the Bible app had the verse of day Exodus 14:14:

"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still."

I am still so encourgaed by that. So many friends texted us that day with that verse, and it is a banner over this entire journey for us. But I never realized how much effort goes into being still. It sounds so easy, like OH I JUST GET TO SIT HERE? Turns out, being still is a completely exhausting and active thing. In the Old Testament, the word for "wait" as in "Wait on the Lord" is an active waiting- like lying in ambush. That kind of expectation is not for the faint of heart. I was texting a friend the other day and was like "why can this not be called the good sleep of faith? or the good times of faith?" But it's called the good fight of faith. 

Friends, if you're feeling tired from the fight, don't be discouraged by it. It's not supposed to feel easy, at least not all the time. Some days we skate through, some days we labor through. If you are feeling the fatigue from the fight, be encouraged that you're in it. And staying still in our hearts takes tremendous effort. I am still so thankful that the yoke of Jesus is easy, like Matthew 11:28 says, and His burden is light. 

But that doesn't negate that there is still a yoke and a burden, it just means its a lot easier to carry His yoke and burden than to try and lug around our own. 

We are fighting every day, and so many of you are too. But like the title of this blog says, Chad and I are learning every day just how REAL the joy is when we walk with Jesus. It's not a counterfeit joy. 

Sometimes the enemy tries to tell me that feeling joy and hope right now is irresponsible. Like somehow if I get all worked up and worry all the time, then I'm really a good mom. What a load of lies. There really is joy available for every journey. Even when fear wants to suffocate the life out of you or reality wants to crush your hope. He has endless reserves of joy and hope. He never runs out. I feel like that reminds me of this story in the Old Testament: 

 "Now the wife of one of the sons of the prophets cried to Elisha, “Your servant my husband is dead, and you know that your servant feared the Lord, but the creditor has come to take my two children to be his slaves.” And Elisha said to her, “What shall I do for you? Tell me; what have you in the house?” And she said, “Your servant has nothing in the house except a jar of oil.” Then he said, “Go outside, borrow vessels from all your neighbors, empty vessels and not too few.  Then go in and shut the door behind yourself and your sons and pour into all these vessels. And when one is full, set it aside.”  So she went from him and shut the door behind herself and her sons. And as she poured they brought the vessels to her. When the vessels were full, she said to her son, “Bring me another vessel.” And he said to her, “There is not another.” Then the oil stopped flowing.  She came and told the man of God, and he said, “Go, sell the oil and pay your debts, and you and your sons can live on the rest.”

Seems to me like the bottom line is, if I'm afraid I'm running low on joy or hope, I just need to present the Lord with all the empty jars of my heart and the friends around me, and start getting familiar with the joy reserve that's left in me, living in it, delighting in it, pouring it into other people. As I become aware of the joy He has given me, it will multiply itself. That's what Jesus always always always does. He multiplies Himself so we don't have lack. Even here. We don't have lack. We can be as joyful as we make room for. Oh Lord, create space in us to carry MORE joy. 

Here is a message I've listened to about four times this week, about Psalm 84 and soul strenghth. When we were sitting in the waiting area while Cade was in surgery, I started mulling over this Psalm in my memory, 

"Blessed are those whose strength is in you,

    whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.

As they pass through the Valley of Baka (weeping),

    they make it a place of springs;

    the autumn rains also cover it with pools.

They go from strength to strength,

    till each appears before God in Zion" 

I know I've referenced that passage on the blog before, but its worth revisiting- and this message does an amazing job of talking about God pours out blessing EVEN in the valley of weeping. Water attracts water, tears attract the rain of God. The blessing and comfort of God when our hearts are set on Him. Anyway, Bill Johnson does a much more excellent job of explaining it so just listen if you can:

Bill Johnson: The Place of Strength

And here is a song I've been playing over and over and over and making all the kids lay on the living room floor with me and listen to because #refreshing: Cory Asbury: Endless Alleluia