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Fasting Tuesday #20: Delighting in the Details

Cade and I showed up early Monday morning for chemo, food stash in hand with lots of books to read only to find out a few hours later that Cade had a big spike in temperature, and after getting some cultures to make sure there is no infection, we got to leave early and chemo-free. We will go in again this Thursday and Friday to get these infusions again.

Here are some specific things to pray for with this chemo group on Thursday:
1. Please pray protection over his kidney, heart, and bladder. He had an ECHO Friday to check heart funcion as on of these chemos can cause heart damage. Please pray Cade is protected! Please also pray against bleeding in the bladder lining and any stress to his remaining kidney as the other chemo in this group is hard on those areas.

2. Please pray against any nausea and especially delayed nausea as that has been the culprit in the past for Cade. Please pray he has ZERO vomiting!

3. Please pray against mouth sores so that Cade can comfortably eat and drink for the next week or two. We thankfully found some methods to eliminate and help soothe them, but this chemo is really prone to giving mouth sores and we want protection over his GI tract in every way!

4. Please pray these strong chemos kill any and all remaining active cancer cells and that the scans show SUCCESS!


This is the last large chemo group in this protocol, and we are all excited about that. We have come so far! Cade has endured so much, and we are filled with gratefulness. I can remember all of my initial fears when diagnosis occurred, and all of the side effects we heard about and we are so thankful that Cade was spared so many of those. God has protected him so well, just like He said He would.

I have been really trying to revisit the things God said at first, just to remember. I can remember distinctly that the phrase "everything is a kindness" was on my heart even the month before his diagnosis. I wanted to start viewing life with a lens that looked for God to show up. I wanted to stop rushing past everything and missing the parts of God that He purposefully hides in plain sight. I wanted to be more aware of how the weather and trees and birds and little every day graces show up just because He is generous to us.

Yesterday was a great moment to insert that truth again. Even this delay could really be a hidden kindness. We might not ever see it all in full detail til Heaven, but I love suspecting that God is up to something.

Everything is a kindness and no detail is lost on God.  I continually feel that the battle for my faith personally hinges on these two ideas. It's amazing how being aware of our own pain has also given us new eyes to be aware of so many who are walking difficult roads and enduring hard things. And with that new awareness, I also feel a continual wrestle in my heart to not become disheartened and to continually fix my eyes on Jesus, rather than on trials or losses or stories of hurting. I know when I'm fixed on the wrong thing by the weight of my own heart. I am so thankful that heaviness of heart is not a sign of maturity or something being "right". It's the place of exchange for me and the Lord. It's a sign I'm carrying a part of the burden that I am not made to carry. I love to return to Isaiah 61:3, that promises what the Spirit of God gives us:
to preserve those who mourn in Zion, to give to them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness, that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He might be glorified


I love that God does not stand a distance observing the difficult places with indifference. He comes so close, and His hand is orchestrating many details. I continually find comfort in Psalm 37:23-24 that says:

The Lord directs the steps of the godly.
    He delights in every detail of their lives.
24 Though they stumble, they will never fall,
    for the Lord holds them by the hand.


So this week I'm rejoicing in the detail of a slight delay and a random fever. It also means a few days with my mom here to just enjoy Cade in normal life, and for us to go on walks and enjoy what just "happens" to be pretty ideal weather. This too is a kindness. ;-) 

Thank you for praying with us, fasting with us, and watching the videos. Especially this one where a mosquito attack makes it hard to concentrate: 


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