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Showing posts from February, 2018

The What and The Why

I am taking a shift at the hospital with Cade right now, and he decided to take a nap so I'm sitting decked out in a hospital gown, mask and gloves to write. Cade was hospitalized Thursday night when he started to run a fever. After some tests, we've determined he has a normal cold, but he has literally zero white blood cells so his body just couldn't fight it off. We've been fever free for two days now, but are waiting for those counts to rise so we can be discharged. I am so thankful for a mother-in-law who is taking shifts with Chad and I so we can have a few hours at home with the girls. Somehow, I think we both feel really refreshed and grateful in a deeper way for the hours of weekend we have gotten together. That's the craziest part of this journey, finding joy in unlikely places.

I want to process some of the thoughts I've had the past two weeks because I want to do my best to let you all in on some of the heart work that is going on here. I want to spe…

Counting Every Blessing

This past week was one for the books. Cade had his first inpatient 5 day chemo, and he has officially had and responded well to every single chemo in his protocol. Well as in absolutely zero visible side effects. I walked in the door after being with him one day and realized in a fresh way that I am living in a miracle. It is amazing.

While we were supposed to do this chemo group outpatient, Cade had some issues with blood in his urine (as in trace amounts and not visible) so we had to keep him on round the clock fluids and were checked into the stem cell wing of the oncology floor. He basically played Wii and ate for 5 days straight.

Our church was praying all week and fasting for him the three final days of the week, and I am amazed at how visibly full of life and health he was and is. He was sent home with some fluids this Saturday, and I got to be his at-home nurse and hook him up to an IV every night. I kind of love being in charge like that, not sure it was a good idea for the …

Week Eleven: Be Courageous

"I leave the gift of peace with you- My peace. Not the kind of fragile peace given by the world, but my perfect peace. Don't yield to fear or be troubled in your hearts- instead be courageous!"  John 14:27
The further we get away from November, the more aware I am that we are living in a miracle. Normally, when I remember sad or hard things, looking back incites a weird sort of post-traumatic anxiety, like a big pit in my stomach or a sick feeling. But with every day that passes, I feel like I am better able to see the weeks when this first started happening with an overwhelming sense of wonder. God is so good. Cade was so covered and cared for, and we have been insulated by kindness and love. 
There are so many precious memories packed into the week we spent in the hospital, the first 24 hours, the weeks that followed. My awareness of the joy of life has been so heightened. I am so thankful for where we are, and I am so thankful for the convincing evidence that God was…