Last week was AMAZING. By the generosity of some friends, we spent a few days near Bloomington at a lake where we boated, played, and all three littles shared the same bunk room and LOVED it. It is hard to express how much that trip meant to us. To me. It felt like a direct gift from the goodness of the Father, played out in the lives of people around us whose generosity and compassion are remarkable. We are so thankful.
I feel like I keep saying the same three things: God has been way kinder than I ever guessed, we are so thankful, and we are expectant. I guess its because those things are always very true.
I spent last year obsessing over how old 30 was, and a million other stupid, vapid thoughts probably crossed my mind during that birthday. This week I turned 31, and I keep finding myself looking back at this year seeing the wisdom of God. At the very beginning of this journey I felt like I had a visual of God taking back the chessboard of our lives, and studying it with anticipation for how He would strategically bring victory for us through all of this. I am feeling the full circle of that initial impression. Jesus is King. In no way do I have a theology for what is happening, but I do truly believe that the blessing of knowing God means that we are never at the mercy of this life or anything in it. There is always an invitation to return to a child-like confidence in a good, good Father. That is where I want to land and live from.
Cade had an amazing ten days, after a very hard few days of almost nonstop vomit and diarrhea. He lost weight during the hard days, but amazingly has packed on all the weight he lost and then more. I am not exaggerating by saying he ate every hour he was awake for at least seven days. I cannot even handle how thankful I feel for that. Sometimes things are really dark. Then the next minute God flips on the floodlight and the shadows are zapped in a single moment.
We have already completed day one of Cade's two day intense treatment this week, and he ate practically the entire time he was at the hospital. Typically this treatment results in some low days where he can't keep food down and at least two blood product transfusions.
Please pray that
1. Cade's kidney and bladder do not become overly taxxed by this chemo. Please pray for no bleeding in his bladder lining, no over production of protein from his kidney, and for peace for both of those organs.
2. Cade's heart would be protected and function perfectly. So far his heart has remained strong and healthy, and we are very grateful for that!
3. Cade's stomach would not be unable to handle food in the next few days, and that he would not lose the pounds he has gained.
After this treatment finishes, we only have this chemo group one more time in this protocol at the very end. It is amazing to look at how far God has brought us, all the weeks under our belts.
Thank you for praying with and for our family. It is so humbling how many have reached out and said they are with us, heart and soul, fasting and feasting.
I mentioned a book in the week 12 video that I had wanted to read, and did in fact read most of during our few days at the lake. I read it in tears and with great relief, to find that the soul can indeed grow through the darkest seasons. If you'd like to read it, I have linked it here. This is the sort of book I would have never touched before this, and yet it served almost as a long lost friend reading it. It affirmed so many of my thoughts, gave permission to fail, and to revel in the wisdom and mystery of who God is in the low places of life. The testimony of low places is not my individual faithfulness, but God's. He is the best Friend for our souls. And while we are not always prepared for what lies ahead, He always is- and in His kindness He is storing up goodness for us to encounter in the process. As I've reviewed this year, I'm struck at the process. It hasn't been fast or easy or simple. It has had many steps, many miles, many long hours, many dark moments. But in the process Jesus has walked by my side, every single step. Listening, loving, lamenting with me. What a friend we have in Jesus. His friendship was made for moments and months like these.
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