We have been loving life outside of the hospital, and as we suspected last week, Cade didn't quite make counts for the chemo that was scheduled this Monday so we are enjoying a week of normal life. And it's been remarkably normal.
Since we've been home, we moved Cade's bed into Eden and Haven's room, and so now three of our four sleep in one space. We stagger the exact bed times most nights to reduce bed time angst, but mornings are a general favorite around here and include lots of noise, jumping off beds, reading to each other, etc. I love it so much.
Cade also went to the gym and the park with me for the first time since diagnosis. That's amazing. He even ate out at a restaurant, which we've only done two other times. All these very normal things feel very abnormal and special, which is a part of the gift of this season I'm sure.
We are still fervently praying that:
1. Cade's body and immunities kick into high gear and completely eliminate any remaining cancer cells, so that the spots we saw on the new scans completely disappear by the time we scan next in a few weeks; and if they do not disappear, that the possible surgery to remove them goes smoothly and that once they get the cells under a microscope they find only dead tissue.
2. Cade will handle next week's last intense treatment of this protocol well, without a day of vomiting, and that we get all the transfusions he needs quickly and at the exact right time. We are praying that these final chemos are killing whatever remains.
Overall, we feel very rich these days. Filled with wonderful memories of people and gifts and words and promises from God that served as lifelines throughout this past year. I am amazed we have made it to week 34. As I review, I feel less of the trauma or grief I thought I'd feel, and more of the triumph and awe. God carried us. Hard things came and went, but the good of it all, the abundant peace and sweet friendships and family time has forever marked all of us. What a strange thing, to look at something so terrible and realize over it all, there is goodness. I've been reading Ecclesiastes (which truly is only palpable on certain days or in some emotional states) and I love the simple idea that enjoying what God gives is part of the gift of life:
" I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God."
Ecclesiastes 3:12
Thank you for being part of this with us. We are where we are because of your prayers and friendship.
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